From the lamb's mouth...
In the midst of exams
Phew.. today was scary.. had my tele paper and yar.. didn't really have too much expectations.. thought it would be hard.. but yar.. when i saw the paper, it was almost 99% same as those from past exams.. so yar.. a little relieved.. then later at qn 3 i was like stuck at this link state budget qn and kept getting the wrong answer!!! and yar.. spent most of my time on that.. so yar.. just kept praying to God and everything.. decided to jump to the next qn and yar that also took long! so at the end i was left like 20+ min to do the skipped qn.. and yar.. somehow!! after a few more minutes of trying and panicking.. (my hand was like shaking.. partly due to the cold.. but yar.. real stressed!) God pulled my through!! woohoo!! praise Him! and yar.. still wasn't that confident but after hearing some of my friends answers, seems mostly ok. well.. as always, i'm just going to concentrate on the prep and execution and leave the results to God.. coz yar.. God IS GOOD! as i'm going through this exams, i'm like really struggling.. not that stressed most of the time though.. think God has grown me to trust Him more.. and yar, when i think back to last years results, i'm still amazed at what God did.. so cool! and yupz.. kinda hope this sem will sorta follow suit but yar.. is up to God. i really don't think of myself as smart.. just have a merciful and generous God who has great plans for me.
k, one more tough paper and then it's holidays!!! not sure i'm looking forward to it so much.. but the rest from exams would be great!
Undivided Devotion
phew... finished 2 exams liao.. but got another 3 more!!! it's been tough.. first was pretty ok coz i had 4 days of consequtive days to study for it.. but yesterdays was pretty scary.. started to freak out when i was there.. but thanks God for faithful christian friends.. went off to a corner to pray with 2 other course mates.. and yupz.. felt calmer! really hoping God will use that as a testimony to Himself.. and yupz.. had plenty of friends all over praying for me too!! so yar.. went through unscathed.. well.. results i leave to God.. as long as i do my best He won't complain.. can't wait for all this to be over.. actually, i'm not that excited about it all finish as i used to be. must be growing up.. plus i'm like actually enjoying uni and study more! is great!
anyway, this post is about something i've been thinking about more lately.. erm.. not exams. relationship stuff.. u kn..o..w bgr, marriage etc.. nope, there's no potential mate yet.. but yar.. erm.. i've kinda been open to the concept that someone could actually like me now.. (yar, used to choose not to believe it, but have grown up in this too i guess). But yar.. feel i'm still totally not ready for anything more than friendships.. have too many misconceptions.. Strangely, i've come across this same chapter twice (not just flipping around but being pointed through my study material and my dialy bible readings) in the bible.. and both times were when i was really thinking about it.. Is in 1st corinthians and is a whole chapter about marriage.. i think what really has grabbed me (both times) is the part when paul says for those not married not to look for a wife... to have undivided devotion to God. And yar.. have a feeling God is telling me that is for me.. and yar.. has kinda 'shattered' my dreams of relationships and stuff.. but i do think i really want a girlfriend (wife) for the wrong reasons.. (a.k.a. myself) Won't get into them. but yar.. think i'm having a bit of trouble fully commiting to this decision. Have obviously made an idol of myself.. (if that makes sense).. well.. will work on it with God.